Warning: This episode contains descriptions of sexual assault that may not be suitable for some listeners. Want to talk about it? Drop me a line at interactivememoir@gmail.com
The second after I accepted that Leo had really dumped me, I plunged into the project of ‘getting him out of my system’ by sleeping around. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, as they say, I was taking my power back, yessiree!
This was all utter bullshit, and even drunk me was aware of it on some level. This prowl was showing up at acquaintances parties drunk, looking for someone to want me. The prowl was showing up at bars by myself when i ran out of acquaintances to impose on believing if a guy bought me a few drinks he’d bought me for the night. I wasn’t an empowered, sexually liberated modern woman. I wanted to disappear completely, and just being drunk wasn’t enough anymore.
Until a point I could still pretend this was all a game I was playing, that I was in control, that I was having a good time. Until that story was replaced with something more sinister.
Rape crisis hotlines: https://ibiblio.org/rcip/internl.html
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Thanks to Bensound.com for the intro and outro music
Here is a list of suicide crisis hotlines by country:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
Here are links to support groups with an online presence that can be vital in recovery:
For a comprehensive list of 12 Step Meetings:
https://12step.org/social/online-meetings
Smart Recovery:
https://www.smartrecovery.org/community
Refuge Recovery
https://www.refugerecovery.org